I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I understand Curling. That high.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I stole a fireplace last night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
