i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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