I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
