You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
