his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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