I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
