i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
