whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
