I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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