What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
