update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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