I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
MIDGETS
????
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
