You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
