I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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