I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just had sex on a roof
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize