Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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