It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
