i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have aggressive nipples.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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