watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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