I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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