Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
