the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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