Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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