Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You can't just leave with hair like that
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
