yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
