We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
