Your mouth is God's brothel.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
