$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
