What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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