just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
