We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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