I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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