I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize