you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
