shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
