There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
