New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
