I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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