its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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