we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
