She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
