You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
