I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i came on her dog
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
