I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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