Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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