I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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