I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
