Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
