Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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