I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
