I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
