We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
