my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
