Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
