Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
