it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
