i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he was CRYING into my vagina
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
