i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
