Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
