Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
