Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
