So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
