They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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