That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
