yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
