Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
