I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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