HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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