Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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