my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
