just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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