I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
